DISAPPOINTMENT AND PERSPECTIVE

Being disappointed is all about perspective. It took me a long time to realize this. I was under the impression that if someone did something I didn't like, or a situation evolved that I wasn't happy with, then I had the "right" to be disappointed. I never once thought it was just my perception of the matter that was causing my disappointment and that I could control this!

What I slowly began to realize through studying myself, as well as paying attention to others around me, was that those things that would upset me, would not upset someone else. I also noticed that those things that appeared to be the biggest deal to someone else, only made me laugh. So what was going on? Obviously, it couldn't be the situation itself because that was the one constant thing in each equation. What did change was who was interpreting the situation. That was what was different. So I began to wonder if my perception of a situation, any situation, was something I could control? Could I change the way I perceived something, and therefore, change my emotional reaction? I discovered, that yes it was possible. I wasn't necessarily in control over what happened to me, or around me, but I was definitely in control over how I responded to those situations.

I began to play with this idea a bit. I believe that the people in our lives are great mirrors for how we think and behave, and therefore, can be great educational tools.

What I began to see over and over again was that when most of us get upset it is for one reason and one reason only. The universe is not behaving the way we believe it should behave. This could mean that we didn't get the raise we believed we were entitled too, so we become disappointed. If we had not expected a raise in the first place, however, we never would have been disappointed would we? It could also mean that someone does not treat us in a particular way that we believe we should be treated. Or our dreams don't turn out the way we believe they should have turned out. Or an investment didn't work out the way we thought it would. Or someone dies before we believe they should die. It can be as heavy as that. I am not saying it isn't sad, but at the same time it isn't our choice to say how long someone is to live, now is it? Those are our perceptions of what we want, of how we want the universe to behave. When we get disappointed, we never stop and think that it is our perceptions or beliefs that are wrong. We think it is the universe that is wrong because of how we feel personally! That is a pretty grand stand to take when you think about it.

So how do we change our perceptions? By becoming more aware of what your perceptions and beliefs are. You cannot change what you do not understand. So spend some time looking internally and when you become disappointed, think about what is disappointing you. Is it really the situation or the person, or is it because they are not behaving in a way you believe they should behave? Then slowly as you do this, force yourself to look at the bigger picture of what is going on. Force yourself to see the situation from a new perspective and offer positive spins on what has happened. I believe that the more you do this, the less you will be disappointed because you will stop taking things so personally. You will also begin to realize that the way things turn out are the way things are supposed to turn out, whether they are in line with your beliefs or not. This will lead you to feeling more in control of your emotions as well as of your behaviors and actions. You will also be able to use any challenge as an opportunity to grow, develop, and move your life forward, because you will not continuously be knocked down by disappointment.

By Keeper Belinda Storey

Delivering the Promise to Lesotho, South Africa (Day 3)

Naturally, yesterday’s events were still heavy on my heart. As I walked to the board the bus for our 2 hour trip to Baylor Hospital and ButhaButhe to meet with hospital personnel, I could not help but reminisce on the previous day’s events. So many families with HIV and so many young children all under the age of one who still have a possibility of contracting HIV, or losing both parents and becoming just another orphan in the system. Only this was “real.” Not like the videos I’ve seen on YouTube, or the blogs to save lives that get shared on social networks. No-these were people I knew, spent hours with, photographed and played with their children. And there was still the possibility of community funding and support being cut to the Global Fund when Supporters meet at the summit meeting on Oct 5th in New York.

I am not sure when it hit me, maybe it was the walk up to the hospital doors as I saw elderly people laying on the ground covered in blankets and sleeping. Maybe it was the mothers I saw walking for miles to the hospital with their babies swaddled on their backs. Maybe it was the 60 plus people laying outside of the hospital but 5 minutes and waiting for care. Or maybe it was possibly as I entered through the double doors into the hospital ward and saw an estimated 50-60 mothers and young babies (some HIV positive and some not), sitting in a room and waiting to be seen. Whatever it was, my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to do more, to be able to help, to reach out in a way that others would become involved. In my eyes, it is unimaginable so many people are ill, or infected and may lose community support while so many of us go on with our lives unaffected.

Somehow, I gathered myself together and I interviewed several mothers today, many with similar stories as the families prior. These mothers some single, some married, some who have not yet revealed to their families their HIV status, and some whose spouses are in denial and refuse to get tested for HIV. Each of these women had 1 thing in common. Beautiful children counting on them to be there for their first day of school, be there for the teenage years when you need parents to keep you in line, be there for the heartbreaks, graduation and be there when they get married and have their own children.

Somehow, I had to do my part in helping keep treatment available and helping change the "out of sight, of of mind" stigma so often associated with people with diseases in other countries.


As we drove home, there was a golden sunset in the sky with a small parting. It was in a sense, a personal message to all of us on our journey back that evening. For me, it was God’s way of saying, help will come, our efforts are making a change and impacting lives, these brothers, sisters, grandmothers and children of Africa will not continue to suffer.

“God did not promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

I hold on to the promise that these people, these faces and these families of South Africa will never be forgotten. I hold on to the promise that funding will continue to support these communities that are in need. And I hold on to the promise that you reading this blog, have been moved the way I have been and want to help create change……

By Keeper Monique Griffin

Growing INSIDE of you

Have you stopped to wonder just what is actually growing inside of you?  I’m speaking in terms of the emotional thoughts you allow to fester within you.  Are they positive or negative?  Whatever thoughts dwell within you, will bloom.  Do you live with self-doubt, an inferiority complex, lack faith, harbor emotional barriers from your childhood, or do you brood thoughts about the consequences of certain circumstances you created?  Whatever is growing INSIDE of you will LIVE inside of you.  Most will reach a point and ponder on how you allowed yourself to feel defeated.  There is one main ingredient missing from the formula you stirred up.  Belief in Yourself.

When you are preparing food, it requires you to gather a list of ingredients to make a great meal.  If you miss the main ingredient by adding certain ingredients in an attempt to acquire that same taste, that meal will certainly not taste the same.  No matter how much more or less of an ingredient you add or take away from your meal, without that “key” ingredient it simply will not have that taste of satisfaction.  It’s lacking substance, it’s lacking taste, and it’s lacking that “umphf” one needs to say that your meal was wonderfully made to your taste.  This same concept can be understood in terms of what is actually growing inside of you.  You have managed to add different scenarios within your life that does not enhance your growth to your liking.  Therefore crafting an inferiority complex.

There are never any fears in discovering why and how to remedy what is growing inside of you.  It’s quite simple, don’t give up or throw in the towel.  Just start over!  It’s never too late to rid yourself of feelings of inadequacies.  The bible is a guiding tool for our life.  There you will find many biblical accounts of people just like you and me who have turned their lives around.  It can be done! You simply have to believe that those same principles and accounts can in fact be applied to your life.  You simply CANNOT believe in God yet lack belief within yourself.  The two go hand in hand!  You cannot attain such belief without the other.  Fear is unbelieving!  When you fear then you cannot possibly believe that God IS.  So INFLATE your FAITH!  This is the due diligence needed into turning your life around. 

You are required to have BELIEF IN YOURSELF, a deep analysis, PATIENCE, effort and ‘re-adjustment’ of your ATTITUDE.  In order to be a conqueror of self, you must NEVER view your problems looking through the same set of eyes when those problems were created.  You must see yourself and those obstacles using different eyes.  You cannot and I repeat CANNOT use yesterday’s logic to solve today’s problems.  That logic has already proven to be a malfunction to your growth.  I want you to blossom into the beautiful, uniquely created and crafted gem that God designed you to be.  You simply have to never forget about the main ingredient (belief in God and yourself) before facing those obstacles/challenges that will ultimately make and shape you.  Challenges are not meant to hinder you, they are meant to enhance your growth!  Pray earnestly for God to create within you a new mindset that will OVERSHADOW those obstacles in order for you to be victorious through any storm!  So, what’s growing INSIDE of you?  My answer: God’s gift of INNER peace.  I am incapable of allowing anything to disturb my peace of mind.  Allow ‘positivity’ to grow INSIDE of you so they can LIVE inside of you.  Positive quote: “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” -Confucius

Blessings Keeper Vonnetta Bost

I've Been "Infected"-Day #2 in Lesotho, South Africa

Nothing could have prepared me for my journey today into Maseru inside Berea Government Hospital. The sole purpose of the visit is to witness the work Global Fund provides in the hospitals and clinics and to send some time with the mothers and children hearing their stories……


As I approached the hospital grounds, many people were outside, laying on the grounds, and ill. They did manage to smile, and many wanted to be photographed by myself and my counterparts.


The first woman interviewed “Makamohelo” was with her husband. The couple has 2 children, had dated for many years and she stated he usually used condoms. She was feeling ill and decided to get tested. Her results came back positive for HIV, and her husbands are negative. She then started crying. Her mother had died of AIDS and she stated her husband has always been very supportive of her. She has chosen not to tell her family or friends, because she does not want her children "shun within the community."

Tears once again began streaming down her face as she mentioned other medical problems:

She has problems with her vision and needs glasses but cannot afford to buy them
She suffers from a mental illness often triggered by severe mood swings
She is also HIV positive

“Sometimes having a spiritual belief helps more than medication. I lift my hands and ray that god will just see me through this.”-Makamohelo

The next interview was of a single mother and child.

This mother and 9 month old little girl arrived at the clinic at 8AM. This mother and her baby come once a week to receive treatment and counseling. After the interview, we drove her home from the clinic. We did not realize she had walked from her home (approx 8 miles), in low heels and her daughter swaddled around her in a knapsack. As I stared at her shoes, her heels looked worn and her ankles swollen. She may have only owned 2 pairs of shoes and those seemed to be everyday wear. At first glance, she looks like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders but you would never know it from her spirit.


Her home was situated in a rural part of Maseru and to get to it, there was a steep downhill climb we walked in order to view her home and photograph her. The rocks were very jagged along the way and one misstep would cause severe injury. The approximate size of her home was about 200-250 sq feet. I could not believe how small it was and kept looking for more, an attachment, a basement, something, but that was it. I remember her smiling the entire time, never complaining through her interview or about having to walk everywhere. Her smile was in a way “infectious.” She stated she goes to treatment once a week at the hospital rain or shine. It usually takes her about an hour each way holding the baby the entire way.

As we made our last visit of the day, we stopped at a small secluded house. Inside was a grandmother of 5 orphaned children whose parents all died from HIV. Her name was Cecilia Mda. Her face was weary and her bones seamlessly tired. She was frail, and looked to be in her mid 70’s. She told us her story of how she struggles to provide for her grandchildren. Sure I’ve read similar stories and even watched some videos, but nothing hits your heart like a healthy helping of reality staring you straight in the eyes. She then invited us to view her home and photograph her and the family. This grandmother with 5 children along with a daughter and another child were all living in a small home no larger than the average size garage. There were no toys present, no games, no candy wrappers and the children were not playing outside most kids do. Instead, there was a simplistic presence of curiosity among their faces. They enjoyed being photographed and found us rather intriguing.


I will never forget her face for as long as I live. She often smiled at me and all I could see in her eyes was “hope”. Hope to decrease her struggle, hope to continue to provide for her grandchildren and hope that her grandchildren would one day have a better future.

When I think of her “infectious spirit”, her unwavering soul shining through her smile and those eyes, “hope” will never be lost.

So when I look back on my day and these 3 beautiful women, one word comes to mind: “phenomenal”. This word has a deeper meaning than anything any of us could ever fathom.

The next time any of us complain about walking a distance, think of the mother and child who have HIV and walk in record temperatures sometimes more than 8 miles at a time for treatment. The next time we are “tired” because our kids are overactive, think of the grandmother who now mothers 5 young orphans all of which have HIV on little to nothing every day. And the next time we complain about working, think of the mother who can’t work, because she cannot afford glasses, has a medical condition, has no one to turn to in her family and oh yes is HIV positive.

This life changing trip has humbled me in a way I never thought possible. And yes…. I am “infected” in every since of the word…….

By Keeper Monique Griffin

Chloe's Prayer!!!

Good Afternoon Father!!! Yes, I know it's the middle of the day, but I have something that I would like to ask you. First let me say I thank you for everything that you have given me, I thank you for life, health and strength. I thank you for my trials and tribulations because there was always a method to what I thought was madness. I thank you for making me "ME", Chloe Womack a woman in your likeness and to want to be anyone else would be an insult.

Lord, you know I try not to ask for much, because I know If you want me to have something you would  strengthen my vision and I would go after it, but this is a little different and this time it's really not about me. You see, it's about my Sisters. A lot of my sisters are hurting lord, they are bruised, but not broken, they are hurt but not beyond recognition. They are lost, but not forgotten. I remember the day you opened my eyes to the beauty of life or should I say the beauty within me. It was a bit overwhelming, because I couldn't believe everything that I needed was truly inside of me and It was called "DESIRE". I was longing for a closer walk with you and you answered my prayer, I desired knowledge of self and you made me look in the mirror, which then made me address my issues of fear and anger. I desired wisdom and you introduced me to the Bible, Barnes & Nobles, School, the internet and the library. I desired direction and you introduced me to Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Will Smith, Zig Ziglar,T.D Jakes, Bob Proctor, Oprah Winfrey, Joel Olsteen, Lisa Nichols and Iyanla Vanzant (all wonderful motivational speakers). I desired stronger, smarter,honest, successful and God fearing friends and you gave me the knowledge to walk out door and become the friend that I was looking for. Lord I guess what I'm really asking from you is to give me the ability to show my sisters what you have shown me.

I wake up every morning and before my feet hit the ground I say "THANK YOU". When I look in the mirror in my room, my bathroom, the living room, dinning room and basement " I LOVE" the reflection I see staring back at me, I no longer avoid "ME". I fall to my knees every morning and give you thanks and sit in silence and listen to what you are trying to tell me. I know the power of positive thinking, I know the power of hard work and dedication. I know what ever I want I have to work double time for. I know that I am to enhance someone not weigh them down, because I need them to complete me. I know that I choose to see the beauty in my surroundings, things, people and places and although, ignorance, jealousy, anger and drama try to knock at my door, It's my choice to answer or keep it moving. I try to feed my mind with new ideas and ways of thinking. I became the sole owner of "Chloe Womack" and I know that I only get one shot and this is not a dress rehearsal. I know that If I want to succeed I have to want the best for you and me..

My Sisters I wish you the best!!!


P.S. Thank You Father, for listening again!!!

Do You Want Fear or Respect!!!

Are we sending our children mixed messages? Do we want our children to "Fear" us or "Respect" us. I think a lot of us want both, but I will take respect any day. Let me explain why. I don't want my children to fear anyone and I can't preach that message if I want them to fear me. The other day my son was acting out. Now, let me remind you he's only a year old, and I gave him that look and pointed my finger and said you better cut it out, two minutes later he pointed that same finger at me and started mumbling something. I guess he was just giving me back what I put out there. So now I'm forced to figure out another way to communicate with my one year old. Instead of putting my finger in his face and saying "NO" lol.

We have to learn that our children learn from what we do and not what we say. Let me give you another example of why I would rather my children to respect me than fear me. They will eventually become miniature walking hormones lol. Our daughters will enter womanhood and our sons will enter manhood. It's called good ole "Puberty" and they will definitely develop that "I know It All" syndrome.  Ladies I know you know what I'm talking about, been there done that and eventually fearing you will go right out the window, but if they develop a respect for you testing the waters won't be as rough lol. I'm not saying they will not test you if they respect you. You have to remember they are children. I guess what I'm asking you to do is just think about your approach when it come to talking to your children. Is it healthy to yell and scream and belittle them or pull them aside and have a conversation .

Have a wonderful day!!

Blog by Chloe Womack

Thoughts and beliefs are very powerful things

You now have the power and the ability to make your own choices and to live in the energy of your own eternal truth. It’s time to harmonize your mind and heart with the real power of your spirit. Practice making each of these beliefs a genuine resonance in your own life force. You’ll find within them all that you seek.

1- You are valuable. Your soul is an eternal source of life-giving light. It shines with a meaning and purpose that you may not be aware of. In fact, your value is so profound, it’s impossible in this earthly mind to really understand the extent of your amazing worth. Open to this truth, and affirm the following: I am valuable; I am eternally valuable. In every experience, I choose to see, know, and honor how truly valuable I am.

2- You are worthy. Your spirit came here to experience wonderful things. You are deserving of those great things—not by virtue of fulfilling some socially acceptable condition, but by virtue of your loving Source—your Divine legacy. You have infinite access to everything valuable. Know that you deserve it and affirm the following: I am worthy and deserving of all great and good things—I open my heart and my life to receiving them now.

3- You are powerful. Even if you’ve felt relatively powerless in the past, you now need to know the truth. You’re a force in the world; your consciousness and energy spread throughout the Universe creating influence far and wide. It’s time to step up to your real power and take responsibility for it. Know and affirm: I am truly powerful, and I have the courage to express my power now. Authentic power is my birthright.

4- You have a profound inner strength and resilience. Maybe you haven’t felt this way before, but you truly are capable of taking great action and achieving wonderful things. You’re resilient, and you have the power to deal with harsh realities; to conquer fear, bounce back, and move forward. Always remember that you can rely on yourself and on the strength that goes back through all eternity. Affirm: I know I have profound inner strength. I am resilient, self-reliant, and capable of great deeds. I call upon the power within; it is always there for me.

5- You have a strong intuitive voice and inner wisdom. Your higher self has access to all of the information you will ever need. Your own spirit longs to guide and inspire you, but you have to believe in this innate power of yours. Slow down, quiet your mind, and get out of your worry; and you’ll soon be able to open up to your soul’s direction and advice. Meditate often, asking for answers whenever you need them. Affirm: My intuitive voice guides and directs me. I open myself to the wisdom within; I am inspired and supported in wonderful ways.

6- You are loved. Now and always, you are loved. The heart of Divine love is your Source, your friend, and your ever-caring partner in all things. Connecting with this blissful acceptance may seem foreign at first, but the peace it brings is astounding—and living each day in this loving awareness brings solutions to every arena of your life. So meditate on your own heart center and feel the Divine love that resides there. Affirm: I am accepted, nourished, and loved. I open my heart to the greatest peace of all. Every moment I am blessed with the presence and endless love of the Divine.

7- You are capable of creating miracles. Due to this vast and pervasive power of Divine love, your spirit is blessed with magic of all kinds. Every moment brings a new opportunity, and you never know when a shift in consciousness will change your reality completely. Open yourself to the lessons of every experience, and know that something wonderful and unexpected could be right around the corner. See your entire life as a miracle in progress and affirm: I am capable of magical creations. Every breath is a blessing; every heartbeat is a gift. I open myself to the miracle of now–and to all the miracles to come.

Open yourself to the liberating and empowering force that these beliefs can bring to your life. When you embrace these beliefs with an open heart, you can accelerate through any difficult cycle and shift the events in your life and in the world itself. 

Blog by : Keeper "Belinda Storey"

Confronting Me!!

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was forced to confront the woman that stood before me in the mirror. Although, it was my reflection, she didn't look like me. She looked tired, rundown, beat and bruised to the core. I stepped away from the mirror hoping by the time I looked in it again, I would see the person I wanted to see. The woman with the long flowing hair, Mac make-up on to a "T", the woman that could make life look so easy to those that took at glimpse at her. But the image I was giving to the world was a facade a superficial appearance. Inside I was slowly dying and just existing. Living life the way others wanted me to. I wasn't being true to me. That was six years ago. I was forced to look in the mirror and realize that life is to short to live in an unhappy state of mind. Life is to short to be afraid to live life to it's fullest. Life is to short to be angry. Six years ago I decided to start working on "ME" and although I still stumble and fall. The fall is a little different and the way I lift myself up has changed :-). If you ask me what was the worst day of my life, I would have to say the day I was forced to "Confront Me". If you ask me what was the best day of my life. I would have to say the day I was forced to "Confront Me". I know your thinking how could that be, you see on that day I realized that I had wasted so many years of my life living for others and now I was looking at the reflection of a woman I barely knew. I didn't know her likes or dislikes, I didn't know where she was going, she had no goals, no dreams, she was just existing and that scared the mess out of me, but on that same day I decided to step into my "Greatness" and answer all the questions my soul was asking. Chloe who are you? Who are you at the core of your being? What labels have you allowed others to put on you that you now believe or what labels have you put on yourself. Why do you continue to hold onto anger? I had a million question that needed to be answered. I had to figure out who is Chloe Womack... I know who she is now and I continue to learn new things about her everyday. I have fallen in love with "ME" and I love it. In the words of Ms. Whitney Houston "I Didn't Know My Own Strength", but now I do!!