Have you ever called up a friend and you were feeling fine, loving life and just happy because you are alive. Then by the time you got off the phone you felt just as depressed as the person you was talking too.. Well you was just hit with the "Virus", so now your walking around depressed, angry and all bent out of shape and you don't even know why.
Here's a better one. Do you have that certain friend that no matter what you tell them, they see the bad in everything or just talk about everyone for no reason. Never seeming to have a good word to say. Watch out because like I said it's very catchy. Next thing you know you are starting to gossip right along with them.
The best way to avoid contamination is to #1 Don't join their pity party immediately start talking about the positive things in life or change the subject completely. If you don't feed something It won't grow, believe it or not this person is seeking a reaction from you, so they can feed off of you. :-) #2 Flip the script. After they finished complaining, say now tell me something positive, they will probably not find you very attractive anymore lol.
Sometimes we have to look in the mirror. Do we feel valued by listening to others complain. Is this the way we feel needed. The best way to see if someone has the virus is to see how you feel after talking to them. Do you feel drained or annoyed. If so all you are doing is giving them your energy.
Last but not least, don't feel responsible for solving their problems.. Your not responsible for their life or negativity. Stop trying to help them fix their problem, that's not what they want.. They want your energy and your mind.
WOW! This Article here speaks VOLUME Sis. I have a few of those friends, I believe we all do. I Immediately let them know from the start, I'm feeling good and If you're depressed sad or feeling under the weather, this Is not a good time for me to talk right now. Because I'm not trying to let anyone darken My Sunshine! Real talk...
ReplyDeleteOutstanding post! I constantly felt drained talking to a particular family member. Worked to change the conversation, and they would still find a way back to their personal pity party. I care for them too much to simply cut them out of my life. So, I have reduced the number of times we talk a month. However, I use the conversations we do have more effectively. I begin by asking them, "What are they happy about." Now, there is always some positive vibe we can both take from the time we spend talking.
ReplyDeleteEverything said in this blog describes me to a T..Always trying to play superwoman;solving everyones problems,Being the GO TO GIRL!. I used to think it was nice that my friends would call me for advice or when they were in trouble;but I quickly came to realize that my energy was being drained..I'm a positive person and can't stan people not finding the positive in things or not trying to pull themselves up by their boot straps.. This is so right on time and I thank you my sister. I learned how to check what's attached to me. Be careful people,the devil wants your mind and uses everything he can against you..I no longer will be apart of anyones pity party or allow negative energy to invade myspace.THANKS MY SISTER!
ReplyDeleteThank You Ladies!!!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean and I am such a good listener. I am also a sponge and I suck up all that emotion, good, bad, evil and hateful. By the time the conversation is over, I am now that person, ready to go in and do whatever, tired and beaten..lol. Sad to say the life of a nurturer always has me wanting to listen and help, but the side effects often has my blood pressure up and more times than not I have to go somewhere and cry to release the stress. Never knew what to do about it, never wanted to seem harsh or uncaring.
ReplyDeleteThanks sis...I needed this !(HisbyChoice2)
I totally agree. I already have a negative nature and as a christian I far more joyful and positive than before! But it s a daily fight so I tend to cling to bubbly and joyful people because it is contagious! You re completely right on this one! Godspeed!
ReplyDelete